Stage Two: The Shock of Discovery

At some point the truth about porn use usually surfaces in a relationship. Most often a woman accidentally discovers clear evidence that her part­ner has been using porn. Sometimes someone else, such as another family member, an employer, or an acquaintance, becomes aware that her partner is accessing porn and fills her in. Occasionally, a porn user will suddenly dis­close his problem with porn. Regardless of how discoveries occur, women are usually shocked at not only the extent of the problem but what it means for their relationship. Let’s look at a number of common reactions women have when they find out their partner is undeniably involved with porn.