Brave and depraved, adventurous and immoral, admired and notorious. Restrained? Not likely. Promiscuous? Absolutely. When it came to sex, the Romans really seized the day.
♦ad14-37 TIBERIUS
Spent the last years of his life on the island of Capri; his bedroom walls depicted sexual acts and positions, while he indulged in twisted pleasures with his collection of boys and girls, according to the writer Suetonius anyway, who also accused him of sado-masochism. It is said he particularly enjoyed boys nibbling his genitals in the swimming pool. ♦ad37-41 GAIUS Better known as the insane or cunning hedonist Caligula, depending on accounts. His short four-year reign was packed with incestuous acts with his three sisters. He also engaged in sexual activities with men, auctioned off the services of senators’ wives at orgies and liked to order them into his bedroom for private sex sessions, later boasting about what he had done within earshot of their husbands. He seldom held back. Among other acts of lunacy,
he opened a brothel in his palace, appointed his horse to the Senate and declared himself a living god.
♦ ad41-54 CLAUDIUS Claudius loved women and, unusually, did not engage sexually with men. He was married four times to’bad’women; his third wife Messalina, a raving nymphomaniac, took up the challenge of an all- night sex competition with the prostitute Scylla, who gave up at 25 men, while Messalina carried on until the next morning, victorious if not fully satisfied.
♦ ad54-68 NERO
Said to have been seduced by his mother Agrippina whom he later had murdered. He had two gay marriages as ‘wife’ to Pythagoras and ‘husband’ to Sporus, whom he later had castrated. He also married, then murdered, his friend’s Otho’s wife, Poppaea.
♦ ad81-96 DOMITIAN
A scandalous womanizer, his first wife Domitia Longina is said to
Roman emperors
A man finds a bottle by the sea. He pulls the cork and out pops a genie. ‘Thank you for freeing me. In return I will grant you three wishes.’ The man is ecstatic, ‘Tirst, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.’ Boom! A flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, ‘Next, I want a brand — new red Ferrari right here.’ Poof! A flash of light and a brand-new shiny red Ferrari appears next to him.
‘Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.’ Boom! A flash of light. He turns into a box of chocolates.
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