My father (Tom), "new" mother (of twenty-four years, Lee), and sister, Gail, offer a base of love and stability from which all my writing flows. Watching my father traverse his eighties with skis and tennis racquets offers me hope; seeing him suppon my mother through bouts of cancer teaches me love; feeling us grow closer as we grow older brings me peace. Watching my mother go from a hospital bed to a church organ strengthens my own faith and courage; experiencing the way she listens has modeled for me the glue that unites a family while allowing each member to feel heard. Knowing that my sister has patience and compassion for the children whose lives she touches through teaching lightens my worry for our future.
Joyce McHugh has managed my in-home offices, computers, and speaking engagements, and served as a closet editor — weaving precision, clarity, and flow through every page of this book during its dozen or so drafts over the past four years. Marilyn Abraham, my editor, has the soul of an earth mother and the editorial axe of a warrior, and seems to know exactly when to use each. Her faith in this book remained steadfast even as it became its own child.
Every chapter of this book has haunted me as I saw how my observations conflicted with what is considered politically correct (PC). The support of three people — Nathaniel Branden, Jeremy Tarcher, and Elizabeth Brookins — helped me past the political cowardice that is PC. Nathaniel s intellectual strength, Jeremy’s creative social consciousness, and the balanced insight and love of Liz combined to remind me that although I beat a different drum, it brings balance to the orchestra.
The letters from hundreds of men who wrote that Why Men Are the Way They Are put their feelings into words assured me that the direction I was taking was helping men open up, and letters from hundreds of women who wrote that Why Men Are the Way They Are allowed them to feel closer to men reassured me that 1 was deepening love rather than dividing families.
Lisa Broidy and Dayna Miller searched thousands of publications and double-checked the accuracy of the more than 1,000 sources in this book. When in the future / read their writings, 1 will trust what 1 read. Thanks also go to Maria Robb and Mary Colette Plum for their research assistance, as
well as lojulianna Badagliacca, Monika Chandler, Melissa Rosenstock, Karen Wilson, and to Richard Doyle for his careful legal research in his publication The Liberator
Special thanks are due Steve (Goss) Asher for his daily supply of clippings, to Steve Collins for thoughtful commentary and tireless doublechecking of data; to Eugene August for his balanced commentary to most every chapter; to Donna Morgan and Spring Whitbeck for bringing their gifts of gentle peace to office management; and to Keith Folan for introducing me to the computer.
This book was greatly enhanced by the insights of thirty additional readers, including the in-depth commentary of Suzanne Frayser, Ron Henry, Natasha Josefowitz, Aaron Kipnis. Judy Kuriansky, and Sari Locker, as well as to the chapter reviews of Rob Becker, Randy Burns, Tom Chad — bourne, Ferrel Christensen, Deborah Corley, Greg Dennis, Sam Downing, David Gilmore, Herb Goldberg, Bruce Hubbard, Rikki Klieman, Ziva Kwit — ney, Alex Landon. John Macchieno, Roman Mathiowetz, R. L McNeely, Becky and Tony Robbins, Chris Ruff, Jim Sniechowski, and Bill Stephens.
Consultants such as Devors Branden, Helen Fisher, Maurice Friedman, Fred Hayward, John Hoover, Joseph Kinney, Michael Mills, Marilyn Milos, Jim Novak, Joe Pleck, Jon Ryan, Murray Straus, Ivan Strauss, Robert Wade, and Richard Woods have all added to both my knowledge and the book.
Finally, in addition to Marilyn Abraham, I wish to acknowledge the dedicated efforts of these other "Simon & Schuster Women": Dawn Marie Daniels, Joann DiGennaro, Marie Florio, Eve Metz, Victoria Meyer, Carolyn Reidy, Isolde C. Sauer, and Jennifer Weidman.