You Can’t Stonewall the Children

Certain vestiges of Jessica’s earlier strategy remained. Although she often articulated her words hesitantly, as if trying to see clearly through a dense fog, the fog vanished suddenly when she spoke of her children’s feelings about Seth: both children felt cheated of time with their father. In this the Stein children differed from

neighboring children whose fathers were also often gone but whose mothers had prepared them for such absences. Victor set­tled into a quiet, withholding resentment not so different from his mother s. Walter reacted to his father s absence by stirring him­self into a state of agitation. When called to bed, he would sud­denly shout, Tve got to put away my blocks!” or Tve got to finish the drawing!” or “I need a drink of milk!” He would run frantically from one activity to another. When Jessica tried to drag him to bed, he struggled violently. Explaining the matter as if it were entirely out of her hands, Jessica said, “He wont go to bed for me but he will for Seth.” So Walter was allowed to stay up un­til Seth came home and coaxed him to bed.

Now when Seth came home, it was to Walter s chaotic frenzy and Victor s stone-faced disregard. With Jessica coolly withdrawn in her study, home became even more a place for Seths solitary re­covery from work. Seths gender strategy shielded him against feeling much guilt toward the children: “Jessica was doing such a fine job.” But each child now made himself harder for Seth to ig­nore, presenting him with one more hassle at the end of a gruel­ing day.

Updated: 04.11.2015 — 20:52