The rapid development of tongzhi (literally ‘comrades’, a term adopted in Hong Kong in the late 1980s as an identity for LGBTQ people; see also Martin in this volume and Tang in this volume) communities in China since 2000 poses another major challenge to institutionalised heterosexual monogamous marriage. Same-sex relationships have existed in China as early as there are documented histories. There are widely circulated stories of ancient emperors and male nobles having same-sex lovers. Yet exclusive same-sex relationships, that is, independent of any heterosexual relationship or marriage, were very rare before the emergence of modern tongzhi communities. The rise of tongzhi communities resulted from a number of social, economic and political transformations during the reform era (Engebretsen 2009; He 2002; Ho 2010; Kam 2013; Kang 2009; Kong 2010; Rofel 2007; Sang 2003). Socio-economic changes include the opening up of the job market, individuals’ geographical mobility within the country, the availability of the Internet and other mass communication technologies, and the emergence of metropolitan centres. Two major regulatory changes also created a less punitive space for LGBTQ people in China, namely, the abolishment of ‘hooliganism’ (which had been used to disrupt male homosexual social gatherings) from the criminal law in 1997 and the removal of homosexuality from the medical category of perversion in 2001. Both of these provisions had been used in the past to penalise and pathologise male homosexuality. Although forms of political persecution and medical discrimination still persist in today’s China, lesbians and gay men are relatively free to organise themselves and network with each other. Local tongzhi websites and groups (self-organised ones with no connection with the government) began to emerge rapidly around 2000 (Kam 2013: 3).
The rise of identity-based tongzhi communities and an increasingly rights-conscious tongzhi population challenge heterosexual marriage in many ways. The younger generation of lesbians and gays in China demands the right to exclusive same-sex relationships not dependent on a ‘formal’ heterosexual marriage. Coming out to parents is often not an option for lesbians and gays in China due to the deep-rooted prejudice concerning homosexuality among the older generation and the cultural expectation of children to respect their parents (Engebretsen 2009; Kam 2013; Kong 2010; Liu and Ding 2005; Martin 2003). Instead, they have developed different strategies to cope with the pressure to marry. Some pretend to lead a celibate life. Some leave their hometown and relocate to a bigger city where support might be more available from local tongzhi communities. Some go a step further to try out a more risky option, the cooperative marriage (hezuo hunyin or xingshi hunyin). A cooperative marriage is a consensual relationship performed by a lesbian and a gay man. It depends on the individuals whether they register the marriage legally or just have a public wedding ceremony (Kam 2013).
Given the much stronger pressure to conform socially in the pre-reform period, older members in tongzhi communities have pointed out that similar forms of consensual performance marriages existed long before the present notion of cooperative marriage (Kam 2013: 99). But the easy accessibility of social contacts and the abundant supply of potential marriage partners have only recently been made possible by the presence of tongzhi communities. It has become an increasingly popular practice in recent years for more and more lesbians and gays to put this idea into practice. Attitudes towards cooperative marriages in tongzhi communities in China are divided. Heated debates surround the issues of cooperative marriage’s ethics, political implications and long-term feasibility. Many worry about the demand for grandchildren from parents. The pressure to procreate is felt particularly by lesbians and gay men who are the only child in the family. It is much more difficult for them to reject their parents’ request to carry on the family line.
Yet despite the many risks involved in a cooperative marriage, given the intense marriage pressure in China, the younger generation of lesbians and gays are eager to take risks and explore this strategy. Cooperative marriages might not challenge directly the institution of heterosexual marriage that subjects lesbians and gays to invisibility in the first place. Such marriages are regarded by many in tongzhi communities as a compromise rather than a politically sound strategy that brings forthright recognition to lesbians and gays. However, the discontent of lesbians and gays in China with the compulsory nature of marriage and their demands to have same-sex marriage and access to reproductive technology (which is state-controlled and offered only to married couples) is becoming ever more pressing. Lesbian and gay organisations in China have launched numerous public actions to lobby for same-sex marriage in recent years. In March 2013, some 100 parents of lesbians and gays openly urged the Chinese government to include same-sex marriage in its marriage law (Leach 2013).
The institution of compulsory heterosexual marriage is also being challenged by an emerging group related to gay men in China. This group is made up of women who are married to gay husbands. They are called tongqi in Chinese, meaning ‘the wives of tongxinglian [homosexuals]’. They were previously silenced but began to organise themselves and speak out in public in 2011 and have subsequently initiated many heated debates within the community. The ongoing debate centres on the accusations by tongqi and the general public directed towards the gay husbands, who are regarded as unethical cheaters. A discussion of the tongqi issue has been aired in the China Women’s News Daily (2013). Tongqi suffer because of their unfaithful marriage partners and many of them are forced to keep silent and invisible because they are also stigmatised by the fact that their husbands are gay. The tragic stories of tongqi highlight the social and economic inequalities between women and men in marriage and the prevalence of homophobia in China. Again, the circulation of the stories of tongqi calls into question the problematic cultural assumption of seeing marriage as the only answer to what is a ‘normal’ life.