ecently I asked a group of students what it would be like to spend 24 hours with their partner but be able to use only nonverbal communication. Students thought about it, and many didn’t know what to make of the question. Would it really be possible for them to be alone with their partner but not (verbally) speak to each other for 24 hours?
Several of the women who were asked this question said that, although they’d be willing to try, they didn’t think it would work out well. They weren’t sure they could be with their partner without verbal communication. The men, on the other hand, enthusiastically responded to my question. "Sure!" many of them said. When pressed for their reasoning, several of the men said, "I wouldn’t have to hear her complaining!" This made me think—what exactly is "complaining," and do women do this more than men? The answer depends on your definition. Many women say that it’s not really "complaining," but rather "discussing" important issues.
Women do more complaining than men and are more likely to commiserate with each other about their complaints (Boxer, 1996). Women report they enjoy engaging in this type of communication with other women. In fact, these types of communication have been found to be an important bonding tool in women’s friendships (Sotirin,
2000) . Many times women complain to each other in an ef
fort to cope with their disappointments, whereas men address troubles by responding with solutions instead of talking at length about the injustice of it all.
Verbal communication is very important in women’s lives. Some women like to gossip, talk about daily events, rehash scenarios and issues. Researchers have found that women’s informal talk includes gossip, complaining, "troubles talk," and "bitching" (Sotirin, 2000). Although at first glance these types of talk might seem similar, each appears to have its own structure and function. The focus of gossip is on an absent target and includes contributions from several participants. Gossiping may also have an aggressive component to it, wherein the gossip is meant to hurt or harm a particular relationship (Conway, 2005; Ferguson, 2004). Complaining is usually brief and to the point. "Bitching," in contrast, relates an in-depth account of events, usually about an injustice or something negative that has happened to the speaker, allowing her to express her dissatisfaction (Sotirin, 2000). In "troubles talk," there is one "troubles teller" and the focus of the conversation stays on the teller the entire length of the conversation.
Next time you stroll through the mall or even your student union, take a look around you. What kinds of communication are the women around you engaging in? What do you think the purpose of the communication is?
|
(Matsumoto, 1996), whereas collectivist cultures emphasize the needs of their members over individual needs.
Communication patterns have been found to vary depending on cultural orientation (Cai et al., 2000). Men and women raised in collectivist cultures have a greater concern for the feelings of those around them, whereas those raised in individualist cultures
|
are less concerned with emotions and feelings in communication. For example, none of the gender differences in communication we discussed above were found among Chinese men and women (a collectivist culture; Mortenson, 2002). For this reason, it is important to realize that cultural orientations, gender, and communication styles are all interconnected, and it may be impossible to look at gender without also looking at cultural influences. Types of Communication: More Than Words It’s important to realize that there is much more to communication than words alone. We use nonverbal communication to get our message across, and many of us communicate with others online. Both of these methods of communication raise other important issues. |
ReviewQuestion Describe the theories that have been ^proposed to explain gender differences in communication styles. |
|
Психология взаимоотношений © 2022
Frontier Theme
|