t the time of the publication of the photo and following text, Frances had multiple sclerosis and was living at a home for severely physically disabled persons called Inglis House. Her husband, Murray, was working full time.
Frances: I know there are a lot of things to be thankful for. . . but after all there are women here whose husbands just put them in here and forgot about them. And I think that’s sad. In fact, when I told my husband how worried I was about him once when he wasn’t feeling well, he said:
"Don’t worry"—not to "worry about me"—and all that business—and I said to him: "Don’t you dare deprive me of that! That’s one of my privileges." The people for whom I feel sorry are the people that have nobody to worry about. . . . It’s a reciprocal thing.
Murray: When I married Frances, I swore that I would stay with her till death do us part, see, and I’m keeping my word—that’s all. This is what I wanted; now, I wouldn’t want any other woman. Even if she’d give me a divorce today, I wouldn’t want any other woman. I’ve had a marvelous—a beautiful—life with her, even with
her handicaps. She’s humorous, she’s smart—and we talk the same language: we don’t even have to come out with the exact words. I can say one word, and she knows what I’m thinking about. . . because [of] living with me that length of time [50 years of marriage, the last 35 with multiple sclerosis, the last 15 of these at Inglis House]. I come here four or five times a week. Her love draws me out here. When I come here I feel good; I look for the moment when I have to get in the car to come out here.
So it must be in me to want to do that. And we can have an argument, we can have a difference of opinion. And I can leave her in a huff here, but the next time I come—it’s just like nothing happened. And I daren’t walk in that room without kissing her! . . . So, we’re still on our honeymoon, even though she’s incapacitated to the point where she’s not really a wife to me. But as far as a companion? She’s all I want.
Source: Text and photo from "Murray and Frances," in Incurably Romantic (Temple University Press), by Bernard F. Stehle. Copyright © 1985 by Bernard F. Stehle. Reprinted by permission.
ReviewQuestion
Explain how the ability to maintain love over time is the hallmark of maturity.