Manual Sex on Men

Many women (and men too) do not know exactly what to do with the penis. Does rub­bing feel good? How do men like to have their penis stroked? Will it hurt? Can some­thing break? When do men like to have their penis touched? Because of these concerns, many partners become overly cautious in touching the penis. To reach orgasm, however, many men like to have the penis stimulated with strong and consistent strokes.

At the beginning of sexual stimulation, most men like soft, light stroking of the pe­nis and testicles. The testicles can be very responsive to sexual touch, although out of fear of hurting them oftentimes partners avoid touching them at all. It is true that the testicles can be badly hurt by rough handling, but a light stroking can be pleasurable. A good rule to follow is that most men do not like to have their testicles squeezed any harder than a woman would like to have her breasts squeezed. Remember, also, that the friction of a dry hand can cause irritation, so hand lotion, baby oil, or K-Y Jelly can be used while manually stimulating the penis. However, if manual stimulation leads to vaginal or anal intercourse, any lotion or oil should be washed off, because these prod­ucts can be difficult for the body to expel and can weaken the strength of latex condoms or diaphragms.

Switching positions, pressures, and techniques often can be very frustrating for a man who feels almost at the brink of an orgasm. Another common mistake is to grasp the penis far down near its base. Although this can feel pleasurable, there are fewer nerve endings in the base of the penis than there are in the tip. The most sensitive parts of the male penis are the glans and tip, which are very responsive to touch. In fact, some men can masturbate by rubbing only the glans of the penis. For others, stimulation at the base may help bring on orgasm because it mimics deep thrusting.

All men have their own individual techniques for masturbating. However, the most common techniques involve a quick up-and-down motion that is applied without a great deal of pressure. To emulate this motion, partners should try varying the pressure every once in awhile (harder and then softer). Prior to orgasm, a stronger and deeper stroke that focuses on the glans of the penis should be used. At the point of orgasm, it is im­portant to continue firm stroking on the top and sides of the penis but not on the un­derside. Firm pressure on the underside (the underside is the part of the penis that is “un­der” when the penis is not erect) of the penis during orgasm can restrict the urethra, which can be very uncomfortable during ejaculation.