■ Ingredients often present in a lasting love relationship include self-acceptance, acceptance of one’s partner, appreciation of one another, commitment, good communication, realistic expectations, shared interests, equality in decision making, and the ability to face conflict effectively.
■ Variety is often an important ingredient of enjoyable sex in a long-term relationship. For some couples, however, the security of routine is more satisfying.
The Importance of Sexual Communication
■ Sexual communication often contributes to the contentment and enjoyment of a sexual relationship; infrequent or ineffective sexual communication is a common reason that people feel dissatisfied with their sex lives.
■ An excellent basis for effective sexual communication is mutual empathy—the underlying knowledge that each partner in a relationship cares for the other and knows that care is reciprocated.
Talking: Getting Started
■ It is often difficult to start talking about sex. Suggestions for getting started include talking about talking, reading about sex and discussing the material, and sharing sexual histories.
Listening and Feedback
■ Communication is most successful between an active listener and an effective speaker.
■ The listener can facilitate communication by maintaining eye contact with the speaker, providing feedback, expressing appreciation for communication efforts, and maintaining an attitude of unconditional positive regard.