The way we form attachments, which has its roots in infancy, has a great impact on how we relate to loved partners (Zayas et al., 2011). Much of our scientific knowledge about how attachment styles are established and how they later affect us comes from the work of developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth (1979, 1989; Ainsworth et al., 1978). Ainsworth used a laboratory procedure that she labeled the "strange situation." In this procedure a 1-year-old infant’s behavior in an unfamiliar environment is assessed under various circumstances: with the mother present, with the mother and a stranger present, with only a stranger present, and totally alone.
Ainsworth discovered that infants react differently to these strange situations. Some, whom she labeled securely attached, used their mothers as a safe base for happily exploring the new environment and playing with the toys in the room. When separated from their mothers, the securely attached infants appeared to feel safe, expressed only moderate distress over their mothers’ absence, and seemed confident that their mothers would return to provide care and protection. When reunited with their mothers, these infants sought contact and often resumed exploring their environments. Insecurely attached infants reacted differently. They showed more apprehension and less of a tendency to leave their mothers’ sides to explore. They were severely distressed when their mothers left, often crying loudly, and when their mothers returned, they often seemed angry, expressing hostility or indifference.
Analysis of the data from Ainsworth’s strange-situation research allowed subdivision of the category of insecurely attached infants into those expressing anxious-ambivalent attachment (infants manifesting extreme separation anxiety when their mothers left) and those expressing avoidant attachment (infants seeming to want close bodily contact with their mothers but to be reluctant to seek this, apparently because they could sense their mothers’ detachment or indifference).
What accounts for these differences in attachment styles? The answer probably lies in a combination of inborn differences between infants and of parenting practices. Some infants are innately predisposed to form more secure attachments than others, just as some newborns seem to respond more positively to being held and cuddled than others (Picardi et ah, 2011). A second factor contributing to differences in babies’ reactions to the strange situation was the way their mothers responded to them at home. Mothers of securely attached infants were inclined to be sensitive and responsive to their infants. For example, some mothers fed their babies when they were hungry rather than following a set schedule. They also tended to cuddle their babies at times other than during feeding or diapering. In contrast, mothers of infants classified in one of the two insecurely attached categories tended to be less sensitive and responsive and were inconsistent in their reactions to their babies. For example, they fed their infants when they felt like it and sometimes ignored their babies’ cries of hunger at other times. These mothers also tended to avoid close physical contact with their babies.
The establishment of a trusting, secure attachment between a child and a parent appears to have demonstrable effects on a child’s later development. Several studies have shown that securely attached children, who learn that parents are a source of security and trustworthiness, are likely to demonstrate much greater social competence than children in either category of insecure attachment (Aspelmeier & Kerns, 2003). Anxious-ambivalent children, who have learned that parents respond inconsistently to their needs, are often plagued with uncertainty in new situations, and they frequently exhibit negative reactions to life situations, such as angry outbursts, an obsessive need to be near their parents, and an inconsistency in responses to others that reflects ambivalence about how to respond. Avoidant children, whose parents often neglect them, develop negative views of others and are reluctant to let others get close to them.
These various attachment styles, developed during infancy, tend to continue throughout our lives and to exert considerable influence on both our capacity to form loving attachments and the way we relate to significant others.