Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships

What does research reveal about the communication patterns in successful, satisfying, long-lasting relationships versus the communication patterns in unhappy relationships that usually fail in the long run? The most informative research on communication pat­terns in relationships has been conducted by psychologist John Gottman and his col­leagues (Gottman, 1994; Gottman & Silver, 2000; Gottman et al., 1998, 1999, 2003). They used a multimethod research model for building an extensive database drawn from many studies of married couples (see Chapter 13 for a description of Gottman’s research methods). Gottman identified a number of communication patterns that are predictive of marital happiness or unhappiness. Happily married couples resolve conflicts by using a variety of constructive communication tactics, which are described in the following section.