Companionate love is a less intense emotion than passionate love. It is characterized by friendly affection and a deep attachment that is based on extensive familiarity with the loved one. It involves a thoughtful appreciation of one’s partner. Companionate love often encompasses a tolerance for another’s shortcomings along with a desire to overcome difficulties and conflicts in a relationship. This kind of love is committed to ongoing nurturing of a partnership. In short, companionate love is often enduring, whereas passionate love is almost always transitory.
Sex in a companionate relationship typically reflects feelings associated with familiarity, especially the security of knowing what pleases the other. This foundation of knowledge and sexual trust can encourage experimentation and subtle communication. As companionate love grows and the relationship develops over time, verbal communication about sexual issues and concerns becomes more comfortable and increasingly frequent (Humphreys & Newby, 2007). Sexual pleasure, enhanced by communication, strengthens the overall bond of a companionate relationship. Although sex may be less exciting than in passionate love, it is often experienced as richer, more meaningful, and more deeply satisfying, as the following statement reveals:
Between my first and second marriages, I really enjoyed the excitement of new sexual relationships, especially after so much sexual frustration in my first marriage. Even though I sometimes miss the excitement of those times, I would never trade it for the easy comfort, pleasure, and depth of sexual intimacy I now experience in my 17-year marriage. (authors’ files)