■ Efforts to communicate with sexual partners are often hindered by yes/no questions, which encourage limited replies. Effective alternatives include open-ended and either/or questions.
■ Self-disclosure can make it easier for a partner to communicate her or his own needs. Sharing fantasies, beginning with mild desires, can be a particularly valuable kind of exchange.
■ Discussing sexual preferences either before or after a sexual encounter can be beneficial.
Love and Commnunication in Intimate Relationships
■ The Internet has contributed to the development of romantic relationships by eliminating the role of physical attractiveness and gender-role assumptions and increasing the influence of imagination. Potential drawbacks of communication on the Web include a reduction of good judgment, a rapid increase in relationship intensity, a lack of truthfulness, and potentially risky FTF meetings.
■ Giving permission encourages partners to share feelings freely.
Learning to Make Requests
■ Making requests is facilitated by (1) taking responsibility for one’s own pleasure, (2) making sure requests are specific, and (3) using "I" language.