Perhaps one of the most undesirable of all gender-role stereotypes is the notion that being emotionally expressive, tender, and nurturing is appropriate only for women. Men are often socialized to be unemotional. A man who is trying to appear strong might find it difficult to express vulnerability, deep feelings, and doubts. This conditioning can make it exceedingly difficult for a man to develop emotionally satisfying intimate relationships.
For example, a man who accepts the assumption of nonemotionality might approach sex as a purely physical act, during which expressions of feelings have no place. This behavior results in a limited kind of experience that can leave both parties feeling dissatisfied. Women often have a negative reaction when they encounter this characteristic in men, because women tend to place great importance on openness and willingness to express feelings in a relationship. However, we need to remember that many men must struggle against a lifetime of "macho" conditioning when they try to express long — suppressed emotions. Women, on the other hand, can grow tired of their role as nurtur — ers, particularly when their efforts are greeted with little or no reciprocity.
We have discussed how strict adherence to traditional gender roles can limit and restrict the ways we express our sexuality. These cultural legacies are often expressed more subtly today than in the past, but rigid gender-role expectations linger on, inhibiting our growth as multidimensional people and our capacity to be fully ourselves with others. Although many people are breaking away from stereotyped gender roles and are learning to accept and express themselves more fully, we cannot underestimate the extent of gender-role learning that still occurs in our society.
Many people are now striving to integrate both masculine and feminine behaviors into their lifestyles. This trend, often referred to as androgyny, is the focus of the final section of this chapter.