Instead of attempting to describe different patterns or types of love, John Allan Lee (1974, 1988, 1998) proposed a theory that uses terms derived from ancient Greek words to describe six different styles of loving that characterize intimate human rela­tionships: romantic, game playing, possessive, companionate, altruistic, and pragmatic. ■ People with a romantic love style […]

The distinction between passionate and companionate love has been further refined by psychologist Robert Sternberg (1986, 1988), who has proposed an interesting theo­retical framework for conceptualizing what people experience when they report being in love. According to Sternberg, love has three dimensions or components: passion, intimacy, and commitment (I Figure 7.1): Passion is the motivational […]

Companionate love is a less intense emotion than passionate love. It is characterized by friendly affection and a deep attachment that is based on extensive familiarity with the loved one. It involves a thoughtful appreciation of one’s partner. Companionate love often encompasses a tolerance for another’s shortcomings along with a desire to overcome difficulties and […]

Love takes many forms. Love exists between parent and child and between family mem­bers. Love between friends, known to the ancient Greeks as philia, involves concern for the other’s well-being. Lovers may experience two additional types of love: passionate love and companionate love. In this section we look more closely at these two widely discussed […]

O Love is the crooked thing, There is nobody wise enough To find out all that is in it For he would be thinking of love Till the stars had run away And the shadows eaten the moon. William Butler Yeats, "Brown Penny" Love has intrigued people throughout history. Its joys and sorrows have inspired […]

For me, the potential for falling in love begins with a physical attraction. But looks only count for so much. I need an intimate friendship and closeness in order to possibly fall in love. Trust is another important part of a relationship that can lead to love. A prospective partner would also need to share […]

Differences between the sexes occur in still a third area of sexual response patterns: the ability to experience multiple orgasms. Technically speaking, the term multiple orgasms refers to having more than one orgasmic experience within a short time interval. Although researchers differ in their views of what constitutes a multiple orgasmic experience, for our own […]

The refractory period in the male cycle is certainly one of the most significant differ­ences in sexual responses between the sexes. Men typically find that a certain mini­mum time must elapse after an orgasm before they can experience another climax. Most women have no such physiologically imposed shutdown phase. Speculation about why only men have […]

One major difference between the sexes is the range of variations in the sexual response cycle. Although the graphs in Figures 6.3 and 6.4 do not reflect individual differences, they do demonstrate a wider range in the female response. One pattern is outlined for the male, and three patterns are drawn for the female. In […]

More and more, writers are emphasizing the basic similarities of sexual response in men and women. We see this as a positive trend away from the once-popular notion that great differences exist between the sexes—an opinion that undoubtedly helped create a big market for many "love manuals" designed to inform readers about the mys­teries and […]