Although people often overlook proximity, or geographic nearness, in listing factors that attracted them to a particular person, proximity is one of the most important variables. We often develop close relationships with people whom we see frequently in our neighborhood, in school, at work, or at our place of worship.
Why is proximity such a powerful factor in interpersonal attraction? Social psychologists have offered a number of plausible explanations. One is simply that familiarity breeds liking or loving. Research has shown that when we are repeatedly exposed to novel stimuli—unfamiliar musical selections, works of art, human faces, and so on— our liking for such stimuli increases (Bornstein, 1989; Brooks & Watkins, 1989). This phenomenon, called the mere exposure effect, explains in part why we are attracted to people in proximity to us.
Proximity also influences whom we are attracted to because people often meet each other in locations where they are engaging in activities that reflect common interests. This observation is supported by the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS; see Chapter 2), which included questions about where people are most likely to meet their intimate partners. Laumann and his associates (1994) sorted their data into high — and low-preselection locales. High preselection meant that people were together in locations where they shared common interests, such as physical health and fitness (working out at the local fitness center) or topics of study (taking the same classes at school). Low-preselection locales included places that bring a diverse group of people together, such as bars and vacation sites. Predictably, Laumann and his colleagues found that places with high levels of preselection were more likely to yield sex-partner connections than locales with low-preselection values.