How does one begin communicating about sex? In this section we explore a few of the many ways of breaking the ice. These suggestions may be useful not just at the beginning of a relationship but throughout its course.
Talking About Talking
When people feel uneasy about a topic, often the best place to start is to talk about talking. Discussing why it is hard to talk about sex can be a good place to begin. Each of us has our own reasons for finding this difficult, and understanding those reasons can help set a relationship on a solid foundation. Perhaps you can share experiences about earlier efforts to discuss sexual topics with parents, teachers, physicians, friends,
CHAPTER 7
The Benefits of Affectionate Communication
or lovers. It might be helpful to move gradually into the arena of sexual communication by directing your initial discussions to nonthreatening, less personal topics (such as new birth control methods, pornography laws, etc.). Later, as your mutual comfort increases, you may be able to talk about more personal feelings and concerns.