Latitude itself depends on trusting children, and many professional middle — class parents insisted that they take this stance most of the time: they believe that their children will generally remain within the framework of what their parents view as acceptable behavior and that those children will strive to become the “best” as their parents understand that “best” to be. In chapter 7, I pursue more precisely how the professional middle-class parents enact trust— and how contradictory that enactment may be. For now it is important to note that trust is closely aligned with both flexibility and continual guidance. As one father, a physician, said, “I think it’s the sort of‘try to trust your kids’ [approach]. You give them advice when you think they need advice even if they don’t ask for it.” The same alignment could be heard as Dave Townsend talked about his approach to dealing with his three teenage daughters:
I like to come from a place where I trust my children. I believe in them, and I try to give them positive reinforcement. I try to be a positive influence. I have them contribute to whatever the decision might be, unless it’s jut one of those things where I feel it’s one hundred percent my responsibility and I feel I should make the decision. … I discuss things with them.
Dave’s trust relies on nudging his children—giving them “positive reinforcement”—and engaging in ongoing discussion with them.