Even though communication is important, it is not always easy. Telling your partner what you really want and need during sexual activity can be very difficult. This is because sexuality is an area in which many people feel insecure. People may wonder if they are good lovers and worry that their partners do not think they are. At the same time, however, they may be hesitant to make suggestions to improve their partner’s techniques because they worry that their partner will become insulted and think that their lovemaking is being criticized. Anxieties like these do not foster a sense of open and mutual communication. Ultimately, not being open about your likes or dislikes is self-defeating because you may end up feeling resentful of your partner or unhappy in your relationship.
Question: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 1 year. We love each other very much, but most of the time I feel that we don’t communicate well with each other, mainly because I’m just too afraid to talk about things. I love him very much and want our relationship to last. How can we learn to communicate better?
Communicating our thoughts, needs, hopes, dreams, and desires isn’t always easy.
Usually intimate or personal information is difficult to share. It’s natural to worry about what your boyfriend might think or say. It’s best to start slowly. Don’t try to tell him everything at one time. You might try sharing a few small details about what you’re thinking and feeling. Remember that asking for what you need involves self-disclosure. If you can open up and share your thoughts and listen to what your boyfriend is saying, this can help you grow together as a couple.