When someone says, “She is a very feminine woman,” what image comes to mind? The president of a corporation? A woman in a frilly pink dress? A soldier carrying her gear? In American culture, we associate femininity with qualities such as beauty, softness, empathy, concern, and modesty. In fact, in almost every culture, femininity is defined by being the opposite of masculinity.
On the other hand, ideas of femininity are not static. Sheila Rothman (1978) has argued that modern American society has gone through a number of basic conceptions of what “womanhood” (and, by extension, femininity) should be. For example, the 19th century emphasized the value of “virtuous womanhood,” whereby women instilled “morality” in society by starting women’s clubs that brought women together and eventually led to the battling of perceived social ills. The Women’s Christian Temperance Union, for example, started a movement to ban alcohol that eventually succeeded.
By the early part of the 20th century, the concept of the ideal woman shifted to what Rothman calls “educated motherhood,” whereby the woman was supposed to learn all the new, sophisticated theories of child rearing and was to shift her attention to the needs of children and family. Over the next few decades, the woman’s role was redefined as a “wife-companion,” and she was supposed to redirect her energy away from her children and toward being a sexual companion for her husband. Finally, Rothman argues, the 1960s began the era of “woman as person,” in which a woman began to be seen as autonomous and competent and able to decide the nature of her own role in life independent of gender expectations.
Among feminist scholars, ideological battles rage about the meaning of being a woman in today’s society. For example, many have faulted feminism for its attitude, at least until recently, that women who choose to stay in the home and raise children are not fulfilling their potential.
Yet women with young children who do work often report feelings of guilt about not being s with their children (Crittenden, 2001; Lerner,
1998). Many argue that the idea of femininity
itself is an attempt to mold women in ways determined by men. In fact, such feminist theorists as Catherine MacKinnon (1987) argue that men have always set the definitions of what gender, sexual difference, and masculinity and femininity are, and so gender itself is really a system of dominance rather than a social or biological fact.
For example, the pressure on women to stay thin, to try to appear younger than they are, and to try to appear as beautiful as possible can be seen as reflections of male power (Wolf, 1991). Sexually, as well, women are supposed to conform to feminine stereotypes and be passive, na’ive, and inexperienced. The media reinforce the ideals of feminine beauty, and the pressures on women to conform to these ideals lead to eating disorders and the surge in cosmetic surgery (Wolf, 1991). We will talk more about the powerful influences of the media in Chapter 18.
The messages a woman receives from modern North American culture are contradictory; she needs a job for fulfillment, but should be home with her children; she is more than her looks, but she had better wear makeup and stay thin; she has every opportunity men have, but only on men’s terms. Though femininity has moved away from classic portrayals of women as docile and subservient to men, the pressures are still strong to appeal to those outdated stereotypes.