The desire for love is as old as humanity. Each new generation somehow imagines that it was the first, the inventor of “true love”; but look at this poem from the Late Egyptian empire, over 3,000 years ago:
I found my lover on his bed, and my heart was sweet to excess.
I shall never be far away (from) you while my hand is in your hand, and I shall stroll with you in every favorite place.
How pleasant is this hour, may it extend for me to eternity; since I have lain with you, you have lifted high my heart.
In mourning or in rejoicing be not far from me.
(Quoted in Bergmann, 1987, p. 5)
The Hebrew Bible speaks of God’s love of Israel, and the metaphorical imagery in the Song of Solomon, usually interpreted as depicting God and Israel as lovers, is highly erotic and sexual. Jacob had to work for 7 years to win Rachel’s hand, but these 7 years “seemed to him to be but a few days, for the love he had for her” (Genesis 29:20). The Middle Ages glorified the modern idea of romantic love, including loving from afar, or loving those one could not have (unrequited (un-ree-KWI-ted) love).
Not until the 19th century did people begin to believe that romantic love was the most desirable form of loving relations. Through most of Western history, marriage was an economic union, arranged by the parents. Once wed, husbands and wives were encouraged to learn love for one another, to develop love. How different that is from the modern romantic ideal of love preceding marriage.