How does love feel? Most people describe physiological sensations: “I felt so excited I couldn’t breathe”; “My throat choked up”; “I felt tingling all over.” If you look at those descriptions, couldn’t they also be descriptions of fear, anger, or excitement? Is there a difference between being in love and being on a roller coaster? […]

Why do we love in the first place? What purpose does love serve? After all, most animals mate successfully without experiencing “love.” Researchers’ theories on why we form emotional bonds in the first place can be grouped into four general categories: behavioral reinforcement, cognitive, phys­iological arousal, and evolutionary. Behavioral Reinforcement Theories One group of theories […]

Robert Sternberg (1998, 1999) suggests that different strategies of loving are really dif­ferent ways of combining the basic building blocks of love. He has proposed that love is made up of three elements—passion, intimacy, and commitment—that can be com­bined in different ways. Sternberg refers to a total absence of all three components as nonlove. Passion […]

We must admire those researchers who are willing to tackle a difficult subject such as the origins of love or the different forms of love. We all love, and one of the characteristics of love is that we often believe that the intensity of the emotion is unique to us, that no one else has […]

The desire for love is as old as humanity. Each new generation somehow imagines that it was the first, the inventor of “true love”; but look at this poem from the Late Egyptian empire, over 3,000 years ago: I found my lover on his bed, and my heart was sweet to excess. I shall never […]

  n his 1999 best-selling book, Love and Survival: Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, Dean Ornish discusses the importance of love and intimacy. He points to a variety of research studies that claim that when people open up to each other, talk to each other, and love each other, they become physically […]

Intimate Relationships ■ HUMAN SEXUALITY IN A DIVERSE WORLD Good Looks or a Good Prospect? What Do You Want in a Partner? ■ PERSONAL VOICES In the Men’s Locker Room   ■ SEX IN REAL LIFE What Does Love Have to Do With It? What Is Love? Love in Other Times and Places The Forms […]

Throughout this chapter we have discussed the importance of communication and its role in the development of healthy, satisfy­ing relationships. Good communication skills are an integral part of all healthy rela­tionships, and couples who know how to communicate with each other are happier, more satisfied, and have a better chance of making their relationship last. […]

It would be impossible to list all the qualities that make people good lovers. People look for many different things in a partner, and what makes someone a good lover to you might not make that person a good lover to someone else. Overall, good lovers are sensitive to their partner’s needs and desires, can […]

Healthy sexuality depends on feeling good about yourself. If you have a poor self-image or do not like certain aspects of your body or personality, how can you demonstrate to a lover why you are attractive? Imagine a man or woman who is overly concerned about his or her body while in bed with a […]