Though the similarities between heterosexual and same-sex sexual behavior are many, there are some differences. The differences have to do with frequency and types of sexual behaviors in which couples engage.
Gay Men
Gay men use a variety of sexual techniques, which refutes the stereotype that most gay men assume only one role (either passive or active) in their relationships. The most frequent techniques used by gay males are fellatio, followed by mutual masturbation, anal intercourse, and body rubbing. Overall, gay and bisexual men engage in oral sex more often than heterosexual or lesbian couples.
Although many gay men practice anal sex, not all gay men do. Findings indicate that approximately 30% rarely engage in it; 27% regularly engage in it, reciprocally; and another 43% regularly engage in it, with one partner as the dominant one (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983). However, it is important to note that this study was done prior to the AIDS crisis. Today, oral sex is more common than anal sex among gay males.
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(Munson, 1987). When asked what sexual techniques they had used in their last 10 lovemaking sessions, 100% reported kissing, sucking on breasts, and manual stimulation of the clitoris; over 90% reported French kissing, oral sex, and fingers inserted into the vagina; and 80% reported tribadism. Lesbians in their 30s were twice as likely as other age groups to engage in anal stimulation (with a finger or dildo). About one-third of women used vibrators, and there were a small number who reported using a variety of other sex toys, such as dildo harnesses, leather restraints, and handcuffs. Sexual play and orgasm are important aspects of lesbian sexuality (Bolso, 2005).
There has been some preliminary research done on the existence of lesbian erotic role identification [or the roles of “butch” (masculine) and “femme”(feminine) in lesbian relationships]. Some scholars believe that such roles are simply social contracts, whereas others believe they are natural expressions of lesbian sexuality. One study examined physiological and behavioral differences of women in these self — identified roles. Butch lesbians were found to have higher saliva testosterone levels, higher waist-to-hip ratios, and recalled more childhood behavior atypical for their gender (Singh et al., 1999). What’s important to remember here is that there is no “typical” lesbian couple. Some lesbian couples may engage in role identification, but many others do not.
Overall, lesbians have been found to be more sexually responsive and more satisfied with their sexual relationships and to have lower rates of sexual problems than heterosexual women. On the other hand, research also suggests that the frequency of sexual contact among lesbians declines dramatically in their long-term, committed relationships (Nichols, 1990).