VILLAGE PEOPLE
US swimmer Nelson Diebel, who won two golds at Barcelona, told Scotland on Sunday the Olympic village is ‘a two week-long private party for thousands of hard bodies’. When 10,000 athletes, pumped up and primed for action, come into close proximity — with a free internet service to help them ‘hook up’ — sparks fly. In Albertville, at the winter Olympics, the condom machines took just two hours to empty and had to be refilled round the clock. In Sydney, an initial 70,000 condoms were ordered for athletes and 20,000 more had to be ferried in (the Cubans were the first to get through their ration). Even then, protection ran out three days before the games were over. In Salt Lake City, 250,000 condoms were handed out despite the concerns of local Mormons.
‘It’s not an orgy,’ said former alpine skiing champion Carrie Sheinberg, ‘but it is socially vigorous.’
A speed-dating study in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 2006 revealed that the chat-up lines with best results, including ‘What’s your favourite pizza topping?’, were ones that demanded more than a yes or no answer. Most participants made up their minds about a person within 30 seconds of meeting. No pressure there then. In 2004, ‘This time next year, let’s be laughing together’was announced as the ultimate Japanese chat-up line.
Five Turn-ons
Is it hot in here? Or is it you? * Screw me if I’m wrong, but you want to
kiss me, don’t you? * I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked. *
If we’re going to regret this in the morning we could sleep till the afternoon.
* Hi, I’m Mr/Miss Right, someone said you were looking for me.
Five Insulting Compliments
I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
* You remind me of cheese. I like cheese. * You have a bottom like an onion.
It makes me want to cry. * You’re ugly, but you intrigue me. * Do you mind
if I stare at you close up rather than from across the room?
Five Turn-offs
 |
Before you say no, I’m not a freak. * Do you like to dance? Good, I want to
talk to your friend. * I’m not really tall, I’m standing on my wallet. * Hey,
bird, sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight. * I’d like to screw your
brains out, but I guess someone beat me to it.
 |
