Recovery from my porn addiction was what finally motivated us to deal with the underlying problems in our marriage and become the couple we’d always wanted to be. —Logan W hen Debbie’s husband, Roger, lost his job because of a seri­ous porn problem, she considered divorcing him. “I was so mad,” she said. “I told […]

For some people who are working to overcome chronic, long-term porn problems, it’s not enough to simply become aware of and avoid obvi­ous relapse triggers. They require a more potent strategy for preventing themselves from sliding back into using porn again. As we discussed in chapter 2, for a large number of porn users, their […]

This exercise guides you through a process of imagining a hypotheti­cal relapse experience. It helps you think through the different fac­tors that could set you up for relapse. Imagine that you are just about to relapse with porn. Answer each of the questions below based on what you envision. It can be helpful to reference […]

Whether you’ve relapsed in the past or not, it is important to develop strate­gies for preventing future relapses. Your recovery will have a much greater chance of success when you can identify that you are approaching or have just entered Trigger Territory, and you have reliable methods in place for

A simple sensory awareness exercise can help you shift your atten­tion away from what you’ve been thinking about and on to some­thing else in your environment. Begin by saying the phrase, "Now I’m aware of. . . ," and then complete it by stating something you see in your environment. For example, "Now I’m aware […]

Unfortunately, there are no external warnings and alarms—no sirens or red lights—to tell you when you’re heading into the Relapse Zone. As a result, you may not become aware that you are relapsing until you are already thinking about using porn, in sensory contact with it, or actively involved with it. Regardless of where you […]

Going into a relapse is not like accidentally stepping in a hole in the ground. A recovering porn user doesn’t suddenly, without reason, drop back into a state of being sexually re-involved with porn. Like other events in life, a relapse occurs in stages and is really not a single event, but a process that […]

When people have a history of having used porn to cope with emotional pain and stress and for sexual pleasure, they are particularly susceptible to wanting to use it again, no matter how motivated they have been to quit. Porn addiction is a chronic condition that doesn’t automatically go away just because someone stops using […]

We define porn relapse as falling back into the former problem behavior of using porn. If you have become re-involved with porn after experiencing problems with it and after making a commitment to quit using it, then you have had a porn relapse. There are many types of relapses, from minor slip-ups such as pick­ing […]

I am always only a day or an hour away from the same old habit. —Ed L ong after Drew, a thirty-five-year-old father, thought he was done with porn, he suffered an unexpected setback and started using it again. The experience was upsetting and took him by surprise. “I had three years of recovery with […]