At some point the truth about porn use usually surfaces in a relationship. Most often a woman accidentally discovers clear evidence that her part­ner has been using porn. Sometimes someone else, such as another family member, an employer, or an acquaintance, becomes aware that her partner is accessing porn and fills her in. Occasionally, a […]

Given how uncomfortable a woman can feel when she suspects a porn problem and her husband or boyfriend denies it and tries to dismiss her concerns, it comes as no surprise that many women in this situa­tion take steps to try and find out what is really going on. Some women repeatedly ask their partner […]

__ 1. Unexplained absences and unaccounted time __ 2. Possessing porn materials or visiting porn sites on the Inter­net __ 3. Excessive or late night computer use __ 4. Demanding privacy when using the television or computer __ 5. Change in bedtime rituals __ 6. Social and emotional withdrawal __ 7. Maintaining a private e-mail […]

Sooner or later, a woman in a troubled relationship will begin searching for answers. She is often motivated by her own distress and by her con­cerns for the relationship. She may start reading books on relationship problems, talk with a counselor, or begin to discuss her concerns with friends. In some cases, her efforts may […]

Even when their partner’s porn use is known, some women are still in the dark about the extent of the use and its significance to the porn user. They may have some knowledge that their partner likes and uses porn, but no idea about how much damage porn use can do to both their lives […]

Imagine feeling ill and not knowing what is causing it. Consider what it’s like to want a promotion at work, and then not get it and not be told why you were rejected. These are the kinds of feelings that women experience when porn is causing problems but they can’t make the connection to it […]

Like Megan, some women are completely unaware that their partner likes porn or is engaged in a serious relationship with it. They uncon­ditionally trust that their partner is being truthful and sexually faithful. Most women assume their partners understand that hidden porn use would be as destructive as an affair with a real person. Her […]

T wenty-two-year-old Megan woke up in the middle of the night and smiled. Memories of her recent honeymoon with her new husband Jesse—five days and nights of passionate lovemaking in a tropical paradise—flooded her senses. She instinctively moved across the sheets to find Jesse’s warm body. But he wasn’t there. Thinking maybe Jesse had gone […]

When the negative consequences of porn start knocking louder and louder on the porn user’s consciousness, they can be enough to convince and motivate him to make permanent changes. He recognizes the prob­lems and takes steps to get porn out of his life forever. But this reaction isn’t typical for most of the habitual porn […]

Most of us think of addiction as a possible consequence of using drugs or drinking alcohol. We may not realize that it’s also possible to become addicted to engaging in a behavior, such as watching and getting sexu­ally aroused with porn. Anyone can become addicted to any behavior that both produces pleasure and relieves painful […]