A round a walnut table in a small conference room of a rap­idly growing electronics firm, a group of working mothers are gathered for a bag-lunch meeting. They are the “moms’ group” of a larger organization of women managers from the largest com­puter companies in Silicon Valley. Among themselves it is safe, it seems, to […]

A week later, Nina asked her boss if she could take a cut in payand work only three days a week, and he said she could. She broke the good news to Alexandra at dinnertime, hoping for a delighted response. For three days, Alexandra said nothing about it. Then, one evening, she asked nonchalantly if […]

Difficulties arose with their dark-haired Alexandra, an observant, somber child who seemed somehow older than her five years. From the first, these difficulties were defined as a “Nina-Alexandra” problem. Peter had routed his own feelings for Alexandra through Nina. Alexandra glumly explained to me one day, “Pm driven to school by Annies mom, Sarahs mom, […]

Nina felt “lucky.” Peter was “one in a hundred men.” But behind her sense of luck lurked a cautionary tale, just as Carmen Dela — corte was chastened by the memory of her mother’s struggle as a single mother, just as Nancy Holt was haunted by her mothers depression, so Nina was chilled by tales […]

In 1973, NinaTanagawa was one of five women in her entire college class to go on to earn a master s degree in business administration. In the early 1970s, when just a few companies were beginning to see the profit in female talent from top business schools, Nina was hired to work in the personnel […]

Peter believes that Nina should tend the home not because her anatomy is her destiny, not because God intended men to domi­nate women, nor because Peter earns more money. Peter believes she should tend the home because she is more interested and com­petent in it and has freely chosen to put her time and energy […]

P eter Tanagawa, a dark-haired man of thirty-three with twinkly brown eyes that express exuberance, leans forward in the leather chair of the small office attached to a technical books store. Speaking in a low voice, he sums up something small but key: “Nina wants me to do more with the kids, to be more […]

Incompetence was one way to induct traditional men into the sec­ond shift. Sickness was another. Carmen has arthritis that “acts up” and prevents her from carrying heavy things. It isn’t clear that she “uses” sickness like she uses helplessness. But curiously, other traditional women I talked with seem to get sick more often than egalitarian […]

Carmen wanted to be submissive; that was one side of her tradi­tionalism. She also wanted Frank to earn the bread while she tended the home; that was the second side. When I asked Carmen what she would do with a million dollars, she laughed raffishly and began naming all the pieces of furniture she’d buy […]

A s he begins his interview with me, Frank Delacorte is speak­ing from his personal chair, a lounger with armrests and a footrest that extends when he leans back. In this modest living room, it is the only chair with armrests. Some men I interviewed sat in chairs turned closely toward the television set, suggesting […]