In contrast to strategies designed to change roles, supermoming was a common working mother’s strategy for coping with the work at home without imposing on their husbands. About a third of mothers pursued this strategy, often in combination with other strategies. Supermoms put in long hours at the office but kept their children up very late at night to get time with them. Many supermoms were traditional, believing that the extra month was theirs to work. Others wished their husbands would share but didn’t feel they had enough moral credits in the “marital bank” to persuade them to do more.
As a strategy, supermoming was a way of absorbing into oneself the conflicting demands of home and work. To prepare themselves emotionally, many supermoms develop a conception of themselves as “on-the-go, organized, competent,” as women without need for rest, without personal needs. Both as a preparation for this strategy and as a consequence of it, supermoms tended to seem out of touch with their feelings. Nina Tanagawa reported feeling “numb.” And Barbara Livingston said again and again, “I don’t know what I feel.”