omenomics in your own life begins by taking all of the groundbreaking information from chapters 1 and 2—our business clout and our mass frustration at being boxed in—and using it to redefine success. We want to show you how to see your value through a whole different lens. We want you to work less but achieve more and live better. And, no, it’s not a pipe dream. It’s remarkably possible. We want to make sure that you go through such a profound mental shift that once you put down this book you will never again see achievement as hours in the seat, rungs on the ladder, and a fancy business title. It’s all too easy to be influenced by other people’s perceptions of what you should do. We’re going to teach you to carve out a whole new, more satisfying path and write your own rules for success.
Stephanie Hampton was the public face of the hotel franchise giant Marriott International. As spokesperson, her job involved managing the public image of a megacorporation through a nonstop flow of communication with news outlets and industry
journalists covering the company. For years Stephanie was basically on call, working ten — or even twelve-hour days and not stopping when the weekend finally arrived. Stephanie’s talents and unceasing dedication didn’t go unnoticed. After more than a decade of intense work, Marriott executives came to value her as an important part of the company. The corporate ladder that she’d been eyeing for years now seemed more like a cushy executive elevator that Marriott management was politely holding open for her. But one day something happened that fundamentally changed Stephanie’s attitude to work.
“I had my annual performance review. I had spent the last year working very long hours, trying to do it all. But for the first time in my career I didn’t get the top rating. I was doing well, but not perfect! And somehow it led to my “ah-ha” moment, as Oprah says. And I thought, ‘Why am I killing myself?’ I just had this moment and I thought, ‘There’s more to life than work.’ ”
For Stephanie, that mental reevaluation produced a very practical change in her life.
“I thought, ‘You know what, I want to have children. I don’t want to be fifty or sixty and look back and think all I did was work.’ And that’s when, for the first time, I actually put some parameters around the hours that I worked. And then once I really did that, I was able to get pregnant because I had been trying to conceive for a while but I was too stressed-out.”
Stephanie chilled out at work, conceived, had her first child, and then got pregnant with her second. It was at the retirement party for Stephanie’s boss—the executive vice president for communications—that Stephanie was reminded that a few years earlier she’d said that one day she’d have the top job. “Do you still want it?” she was asked. Stephanie didn’t need to think twice. She wouldn’t rule it out forever, but right now it was definitely not on her radar. “Ohhh, no.” She almost shuddered.
With young children in the house, the demands of her current position were already enough. “Your priorities in life change, and I’m so glad that they did.”
In the political minefield that is the female career track, Stephanie’s realization is sometimes seen as controversial. “How can she possibly admit to not wanting the very top?” some feminists cry in horror. But we suspect that Stephanie is simply voicing what so many millions of career women are feeling: We actually don’t want to make it to the very top of the ladder if it costs us so much else in our lives. We realize the price of not aiming for the very top may well be not getting to the very top. Or that it might take a lot longer. But that’s fine with most of us.
It can be a frightening personal confrontation with your ego, but once it’s done, new vistas open up. Like Stephanie, you too probably realize that what you have isn’t what you really want: a job that doesn’t leave you so stressed-out that you have no life, a job that doesn’t demand so much you find yourself drawn inevitably to the brink of that agonizing choice of career or kids, where kids usually win. So here’s where we get to the nitty-gritty and explain how you can actually get this sane fit. Watch as all that business theory, all those numbers and surveys, get put into practice to transform your day-to-day life.
There are two parts to this process. The first is mental. The second is practical. And no, sorry, you can’t skip straight to chapters 5, 6, and 7 and get the quick fix. You really do have to go through the mental adjustment. Without it, you won’t be able to take the practical steps necessary to change your life.
How critical is it? Run through a situation that will feel familiar. We’ve all been there.