• Think about all of the recent nos you’ve received. Can you even remember them? Were you really devastated? Are you still thinking about them? Probably not. Remember, anticipation is always worse than reality.
• Keep a list handy of all of your commitments. That’s what Robin Ehlers does. "It’s the easiest way to be strong,” she laughs. If you made a list in the guilt section, pull it out. Keep a copy at work and at home, even in your wallet. Look at it when somebody is making a request of you. It makes turning things down much easier.
• The moment someone next makes a request, think to yourself, "Absolutely not.” Just think it. Even if you may say yes later. It will help to set your boundaries.
• Never say yes simply to avoid conflict, or to move on. Never. It makes things horribly complicated later. Ifyou really don’t have the time or desire, and you may have to say no later, you are making things far worse. Doing a bad job, or letting someone down later, is much more damaging. Think of this as a time-management issue. You are not lazy but merely being professional. "I’ve become a big believer in being absolutely direct,” explains Lauren Tyler. "I respond quickly to e-mails, phone calls, and with my nos. People don’t need their time wasted.”
• Look around the office for no role models—people you’ve noticed who deliver no well. Don’t hesitate to pinch their techniques. Also look around the office and think about which people you have the hardest time turning down. Think about why and devise new techniques for dealing with them.