While planning an evening out, many couples consider it natural to discuss each oth­er’s preferences: "Would you like to go to a concert, or would you rather go to the movies?" "How close do you like to sit?" "Do you prefer vegetarian, Italian, or meat and potatoes?" Afterward they may candidly evaluate the evening’s events: […]

The Internet has created a virtual community that has radically expanded “ options for meeting potential intimate partners and for communicating about sex (Albright, 2008; A. Brown, 2011; Parker-Pope, 2011). Facilitating and managing relationships online has become a billion-dollar industry in Love and Commnunication in Intimate Relationships the United States (A. Brown, 2011). Earlier in […]

Direct questions often put people on the spot. Whether you have been asked "Do you enjoy oral sex?" or "How do you feel about oral sex?" it may be difficult to respond candidly, simply because you do not know your partner’s feelings on the subject. If the topic has strong emotional overtones, it may be […]

Discovering what is pleasurable to your partner is an important part of sexual intimacy. Many couples want to know each other’s preferences but are uncertain how to find out. In this section, we look at some effective ways of learning about our partners’ wants and needs. Asking Questions One of the best ways to discover […]

Many of us can feel vulnerable when communicating important messages to our part­ners. Support for our efforts can help alleviate our fears and anxieties and can encourage us to continue building the communication skills so important for a viable relationship. Think how good it can feel, after struggling to voice an important concern, to have […]

Maintaining eye contact is one of the most vital aspects of good face-to-face communi­cation. Our eyes are wondrously expressive of feelings. When our partners maintain eye contact with us while we are sharing important thoughts or feelings with them, the mes­sage is clear: They care about what we have to say. When we fail to […]

Some people are passive listeners. They stare blankly into space as their companion talks, perhaps grunting "uh-huh" now and then. Such responses make us, the talker, think that the listener is indifferent, even when this is not the case, and we may soon grow tired of trying to share important thoughts with someone who does […]

Communication, sexual or otherwise, is most successful when it is two-sided, involving both an effective communicator and an active listener. In this section, we focus on the listening side of this process. Have you ever wondered why certain people seem to draw others to themselves like iron to a magnet? With some thought, you will […]

Because many people find it easier to read about sex than to talk about it, articles and books dealing with the subject can provide the stimulus for personal conversations. Partners can read the material separately, then discuss it together, or a couple can read it jointly and discuss their individual reactions. Often it is easier […]

How does one begin communicating about sex? In this section we explore a few of the many ways of breaking the ice. These suggestions may be useful not just at the begin­ning of a relationship but throughout its course. Talking About Talking When people feel uneasy about a topic, often the best place to start […]