When a man or woman’s sexual partner is raped, the partner often feels anger, frustration, and intense feelings of revenge (M. E. Smith, 2005). Many partners express a strong desire to “kill him” (the rapist), “make him pay,” and the like. In addition, some partners experience a sense of loss, guilt, self-blame, and jealousy. Emotional reactions to the rape may affect a man’s or woman’s feelings about his or her partner and view of men in the world (M. E. Smith, 2005). In cases of acquaintance rape, a man or woman may lose trust in his or her partner, feeling that because the partner knew the assailant, she may have expressed sexual interest in him. Often, these reactions further isolate the victim and reinforce her feelings of guilt.
All in all, rape places a great deal of stress on a relationship. Couples often avoid dealing with rape entirely, believing that talking about it would be too stressful. Many men feel uncomfortable sharing their feelings about a rape because they worry about burdening their partners. However, open communication is extremely beneficial and should be encouraged. Even though dealing with a rape in a relationship can be traumatic, it has been found that women who have a stable and supportive partner recover from a rape more quickly than those who do not.
Can a man be raped? Each year in the United States, more than 14,000 men report being victims of rape or attempted rape (Rennison, 2001; this means that 5% of all reported rapes are reported by men). However, male rape is even more underreported than female rape (Wiwanitkit, 2005). Typically, men who are raped are viewed more negatively than women who have been raped (I. Anderson, 2004). Like women, long-term effects of rape are common in men, and can include depression, anger, anxiety, selfblame, and increased vulnerability (J. Walker et al., 2005).
Question: Technically, can a man really be raped?
Some people think that it is impossible for a woman to rape a man because he just would not get an erection. Even though men are anxious, embarrassed, or terrorized during a rape, they are able to have erections. Having an erection while being raped may be confusing and humiliating, just as an orgasm is for females. In fact, for some it may be the most distressing aspect of the assault (Sarrel & Masters, 1982). Women who rape men can also use dildos, hands, or other objects to penetrate the anus. In addition, men can be orally or anally raped by men and forced to perform various sexual behaviors.