Parents and children often have very different views about how open the parents are to discussions of sexuality and how often the topic is discussed (Jaccard et al., 1998; King & Lorusso, 1997). Parents also have conflicting ideas about sexuality in their children. In a study of parental attitudes toward masturbation, for example, Gagnon (1985) found about 60% of parents accepted the fact that their children masturbated and said that it
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What Do Children Want to Know,
and What Are They Ready For?
Source: Based on Breuss & Greenberg, 1981, pp. 223-231.
was all right. Ironically, fewer than half wanted their children to have a positive attitude toward masturbation, and that attitude was transmitted to their children.
Parents can be extremely upset and confused when they discover that their children are engaged in sexual play. As one parent said, “I don’t mind if he walks around with his hands in his pants, but when he starts touching other kids’ penises, then I have to step in” (Author’s files). Even parents who want their children to grow up with a healthy view of sexuality often are not sure of the best way to respond to children’s sex play. Sex play in children is perfectly normal, and parents should probably be more concerned if their children show no interest in their own or other children’s bodies than if they want to find out what other children have “down there.”